Yesterday was the anniversary of our son Benjamin's death. We lit our candle and thought about him. We wondered what he would be like and who he would look like. We still wonder why, oh why? So many unanswered questions remain. It is always a tough day to get through.
Well, the first day of our staycation was not a vacation at all. It was hard work. We uncluttered the house, cleaned up the yard, cleaned up the deck, refilled the birdfeeders, did laundry, paid bills, and generally put our affairs in order. It’s all the things and more that we’ve been meaning to do for a while, but didn’t find the time or energy to do. By the end of the day, my back was hurting, but things were in much better shape.
We hosted a sleepover guest for my daughter. That did force us to order pizza for dinner. At least after all that work, we didn’t have to cook and clean up the kitchen after dinner.
Our daughter Zoe is turning ten years old on August 3. Where has that time gone? As dutiful parents, we have been trying to organize a birthday party for her. She wanted a sleep over with all her friends, and a traditional birthday party with streamers and balloons, and naturally a big cake.
Alas, most of her friends are actually away on real vacations. My guess is that the bad economy hasn’t hit the well-heeled crowd of Chapel Hill, NC. So, we’re taking her available friends throughout the week for smaller get-togethers. Last night, we had a sleepover, today a visit to Kanki, a local Japanese restaurant, tomorrow a trip to the museum, a trip to the water park, plan to see a movie later in the week, and maybe another sleep over. Phew! A weeklong birthday is more work and more fun for all.
Happy (week-long) Birthday, Zoe!
It was bound to happen sooner or later. Well, I am now officially a Soccer Mom. We have the house in the suburbs. We have the mini-van. We have the two soccer playing kids.Tomorrow, I am flying to Phoenix, AZ. Then I will drive 200 miles to Yuma, AZ. Yuma is a border town with Mexico.
In the past, I have enjoyed visiting Mexico for several wonderful vacations. This time it's purely economic. I'm going to Mexico for dental work. I need four root canals with crowns and a couple fillings done. Sadly, given the state of my teeth, I need either a second mortgage on my house or a trip south of the border.
In North Carolina, a going rate for one root canal and crown costs around $2,000. My dental plan will pay for a small part. But, it does not cover crowns, and has a cap of $1,500 per person per year. I need at least 4, maybe a few more. That would cost me $8,000.
In Mexico, a full root canal, x-rays, build-up and crown cost $375!
The Mexican dentist that I'm going to comes highly recommended by my mother-in-law who has been to see them a couple times. She lives in AZ, and has had fairly complex work done with them. I trust her opinion. Even so, I'm nervous.
I'll update the blog with my progress. While I prefer to head south of the border for some real guacamole (and maybe a margarita or two, too!) Wish me luck and think of me under the drill, not under a sombrero.
A few weeks ago, I took my kids to Boston to visit my family. My dad's health is not doing well, so it was nice to see him.
My sister Marianne was very generous to buy us all tickets. We spent time with her and her boyfriend. My kids were very excited about the snow and her dogs.
We went to the aquarium together. It was hard to manage Owen there. My sister doesn't have kids, and she was surprised by my two. She offered to bring them to an orphanage. They are a handful to say the least.
We went to Tricia and Mick's house next. It was great to see them and their amazing baby Ian. Zoe had a great time playing mommy with Ian.
I left the kids with family for a night on the town. Four of us went out to the theater. It was very nice to do something adult for a change.
We took the kids on the subway. Owen loves trains so it was a special treat for him. It's amusing to me that my kids are such country bumpkins. I grew up in the city and my mom didn't drive until I was 10. She used to take us "downtown" on the bus and subway.
We went to have lunch at my friend Christine's place. She lives in the finacial district near the waterfront. Owen climbed on their sofa, tried to jump out the window, licked their windows, and nearly broke their blinds. Luckily, my kids didn't break anything. It wasn't for lack of trying. We walked to the Children's Museum. My kids were pretty rotten, and my friend who also has no kids was very tollerant. Very.
We had a family birthday party with cake and candles. The cake was amazing, from my favorite Boston bakery.
It was nice to see everyone and have a few days back home.
Ian is SO CUTE! We wanted to keep him. Zoe and I tried to hide him when his parents were packing up the car. We hid him amonst my yarn. He was pretty quiet, and it took them a while to find him. I wasn't even upset when he spit up all over my yarn!
Tomorrow is both the first day of school for Zoe (third grade!) and our wedding anniversary (15 years!). Zoe is excited about school. We all went to school on "meet the teacher" night last week. I've heard good things about her teacher. The word on the street is good. We are breathing a sigh of relief. That will be a huge improvement over last year.
We spent the weekend getting better organized. We put away old toys. It's a huge uphill battle at our house. We have too much stuff and more shows up every day.
We went to Target and bought some cube shelves and canvas bins to hold the zillions of Lego's and train tracks. We picked out some new clothes and school supplies. We're ready for what we need, but we're not quite mentally ready. The temps are still in the high 90s. We're still in shorts and t-shits. We want to languish a bit more at least until after Labor Day.
Alas, we don't get to determine the school schedule. It's going to rough getting up at 6 AM again. We got off schedule in June, and have not been able to get back on track yet. It takes more discipline than I can muster. I think it has to do with not getting enough vacation time. We're worn out and just plain tired.
As the kids get older, it will get better. Middle school starts an hour later than elementary school. High school start an hour later than middle school. Until then, I will get up earlier and be better prepared. We have at least ten more years of this, so we have to make peace with it. But, I do reserve the right to complain about it.
Yesterday was Zoe's 9th birthday. And today we are welcoming my sister Tricia and her husband Mick's new son to our family.
He was born in the wee hours of the morning. We don't know his name yet.
We're all thrilled and happy to have a new cousin/nephew. Good job Mick and Tricia. We're packing our bags and heading to Boston. We can't wait to meet him.
It's been a bad week--too hot, too crabby, and too miserable. My husband is working too much. My kids are acting up like hooligans. I'm in a big funk. I was so mad I packed a suitcase and threatened to move out. I'm not yet back to my senses, but I'm trying to calm down.
I'm having a mini-life crisis or something. I'm not going into details here. It's time for some changes.
Yes, I'm in no shape to exercise. Sad, but true. Well, we have started to exercise every night. We're starting slow with walking. Walking is the only thing we can all do together. It's day five and I'm trying to figure out how to fit it in tonight. Tuesdays, I usually work late and go out from 7-9. I'm either going to have to go after 9PM, or leave work early and walk before my usual Tuesday night knitting group.
And, it's pretty hot today. I'm not ready for the heat. Once it gets hot, walking after dusk is much more tolerable. Or, we'll have to switch to early morning or in-door exercise. Of course, the pool will also be an option in a few weeks.
We're trying to go after dinner. We all went for a 25-minute walk last night. We had to nearly drag the kids for the last block.
I have trouble starting while the kids are raring to go. I'm always coming up with excuses. But, no more. That's it. We're doing it.
My last post was my 100th post. I meant to mark the occasion but I couldn't come up with anything clever. Then a lot of time lapsed. And, now I'm ranting again.
The reasons are many, and typical. My doctor had me worried for three weeks about some blood work. I had some nasty, brutal dental work with more to come. I got stressed out from that and then got sick. I enrolled in yet another computer class (Dreamweaver). My new job is harder. The book club I joined is reading interesting books that I feel compelled to read.
My kids are being extra difficult. Owen is screaming all the time. He's waking up screaming about missing blankets and scary monsters in his room. Zoe is having trouble with school. She avoids and deliberately looses her homework every week.
I had to go on a stressful, freezing business trip to New York City. The average temp was 12 degrees with a terrible wind bring it to -12 degrees. Even though I'm from Boston, I can't remember ever being so cold. And, my return flight was a nightmare. The plane was broken, and we had to get off, wait, wait, wait and wait. Then rush to another airport and try to get home. That flight was full, and then delayed. Are you surprised to learn that I threw up on the plane, and in the parking garage, and again in my car? (Their barf bags do work surprisingly well.)
And, my husband is working too much, and traveling more. Oy vey!
Of course, the things that I drop are exercising, sleeping, blogging, and knitting...not necessarily in that order. Just all the things that I do to help me relax.
At this time of the year I do get a little homesick. I miss the traditions that I grew up with. They're simple things like the hustle-bustle of going shopping in "downtown" Boston, visiting Faneuil Hall, seeing the lights on the Boston Common, eating Chinese take-out with my family on Christmas, and just doing the same things you've done for years and years and years.
Project 351 gives me a chance to see some of the familiar sights. There are a lot of references to Boston on the internet to give me a taste of home.
And, luckily, next week I'm going to stop in Boston on my way to Canada for a business trip. I'll get to spend some time with friends and family. Even though it's only a couple days, it's nice to go home.
I also didn't get a chance to express my gratitude, so here's my thanks:
First, my husband-- a man I am blessed to have in my life. My children-- I am so lucky to have both of them. As the circle widens: I am thankful for my parents and siblings. I miss them all the time. And, I'm grateful for our old and new friends, and our growing community.
On a global level, I thank the courageous people who work for peace and social justice, those who work to protect our civil rights and liberties, and those who help the powerless.
I'm thanful for the simple pleasures of life. I stop and smell the roses now.
I am thankful for those of you who read Dot Com Family and provide comments and encouragement. So, thank you. Thank you very much.
Our friend Dave came to visit for a week. He and Bob go back over 30 years. He was a great house guest. He helped with the kids, and even painted the kitchen.
The kids spent some time today painting in the kitchen. Owen is a very interested in drawing and painting. He loves to color and paint. Zoe is picking up the vocabulary of an artist at the ArtsCenter afterschool program.
October 26 was my grandmother's birthday. It will always be a very special day to me. I miss her.
Nearly two years ago when she died, I gave a short eulogy for her. I'll dig around for the file and post some of it.
My grandmother was born on a farm in Lithuania in 1911. She had few opportunities. She only went to school for two years. She worked hard on the farm and learned a trade as a barber. She eventually owned a small barber shop.
She was a modern woman who married late in life. She married my grandfather in March 1940 at the age of 29. My mother was born nine months after she married. She had another child, my aunt, in 1942. This was during the WWII in Europe. Her family was torn apart, and she fled the Russians by going to nearby Germany. There she lived above in a barn above a pig pen. She and her husband were separated for a long period of time. She had her two small children to care for and feed in very difficult times.
The family lived in refugee camps for a long time. They were among the millions of displace people after WWII as Europe was torn apart.
She came to America as a war refuge. She worked in a factory for decades making sneakers at B. F. Goodrich. (remember P. F. Flyers?) In America, she learned English, raised her family and built a life--the American Dream
She was a remarkable and strong woman.
Bob, Zoe and Owen went shopping for pumpkins today. I sent them to Whole Foods where they are 3 for $12. They kids were excited and the pumkins were good.
Of course, Zoe wanted one on the bottom of the pile. Owen kept saying, "punkin OH-ringe, not lellow." (Translation: Pumkins are orange, not yellow.)
At work today, we had pumpkin butter on crackers. It was really good. Then, tonight on the way home from my ArtsCenter class, I stopped at Weaver Street Market and bought two pieces of pumpkin cheesecake.
We're planning to go to the State Fair on Saturday. I hope it's not too crowded. Last year it was an exhausting and fun day. I hope to see the biggest pumpkin grown in North Carolina.
I think that's enough pumpkin for one post.
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